Why wait, to learn to live?

old manIt was early on a Tuesday morning.

I dropped my daughter at training at 7.00 am and I went to my usual spot at a local cafe to write and sip coffee in the hour I could enjoy to myself before I needed to leave for work.

Tuesday mornings have become an opportunity for me to write, uninterrupted, every week amongst by busy schedule of working full time, studying and writing.

As I travelled back to my 20’s recording a moment in my life, I noticed an elderly gentleman who sat down at the table next to me.
We acknowledged one another and smiled as he said, “it was a bit cool this morning, wasn’t it?”.
We exchanged pleasantries, and continued chatting while he ate his breakfast and sipped his coffee.
I momentarily felt an anxiousness rise in me as I thought of the precious alone time I was losing, and then I let it go, realising that this beautiful man just wanted to chat.
I’m so glad I did. He made quite an impact.
He asked me what I was doing and I told him I was working on writing my story. He said, “that’s good, we all have a story”.
He asked me what my story was about. I briefly explaining that it was about my mother passing away when I was 16 after suffering through breast cancer, then my grandmother for the same reason and that I too had been through my own breast cancer journey.
He said, “that’s a good story”!
I then asked him what his story was.
He told me of some of his adventures, like the one about owning the fastest motorbike in the world that he eventually sold for $160,000, his road trips and how much he enjoys his life. He spends six months living in Queensland during winter, and six months in Adelaide where his two daughters, grandchildren and great grandchildren live.
He said “gotta make the most of life”.
With pride he told me he was 88 and loves travelling around in his motor home that he still drives everywhere himself, including that distance between the two states.
Anyone who has made that trip will understand how far it is!
We talked about days gone by and what life was like for him growing up. He shared his concerns about drugs, land sales in northern Australia and the lack of jobs for our youth.
We covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time!
He then went quiet while he finished his breakfast and enjoyed the last sip of his coffee.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I wondered why he was alone. He didn’t mention a wife or partner, and through his stories I got the feeling he had been alone for some time.
We smiled at each other again as we said goodbye, and I wished him well for his journey back to Queensland.
I hoped he would be safe.
I watched him as he left. He knew all the staff, asked them how they were and they were obviously as fond of him as I had become in that brief encounter.
I didn’t even know his name.
He reminded me of my Dad.
I recognised the same kindness in his eyes, and imagined what a loving father and grandfather he must be to his family.
What a gift to share those few minutes with someone so wise, who reminded me of the choice we have every day.
The choice to truly live.
Why wait?
All we ever have is right here, right now, and there is much to enjoy.
With love, Ali.

Sliding doors…

Photo: Google images

Do you ever reflect back on your life and consider the potentially huge magnitude of those sliding doors moments? I do. I sometimes think about the “what if’s” and the alternative pathways that could have been. Some bad and some good.

My husband, Phil, and I were sitting at our favourite spot enjoying lunch together recently when we got to chatting about this very subject. We contemplated times in our lives when we turned down one road, when we could have chosen the other, and what the alternative could have meant to our paths.

We were chatting about our families, and he told me the incredible story about his grandfather.

My husband’s grandfather fought in the Second World War. His job was to guard one of the jetties along the beach. Little did he know that on one fateful day, there was a German soldier sneaking up on him from underneath that jetty.

He turned suddenly after hearing a noise and yelled, “who goes there?”. The soldier lunged at him with a knife to stab him. Phil’s grandfather turned around at the last moment and shot the soldier, killing him. It was kill or be killed.

I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be faced with that situation.

Phil’s Grandparents and Father 

That split second in time could have just as easily been very different. It could have meant that Phil’s entire family may not exist. History could have been very different. Thinking about the possibilities of the scenario, it seems like the scene of a movie.

If you think about all the people we interact with throughout our lives, it must be in the millions. In public places, across the globe while travelling, working environments, social interactions and personal relationships. I often think about the part that we, as individuals, may play in other people’s lives and how we may have potentially influenced them in their paths.

I find the concept of sliding doors moments quite epic! Just thinking about Phil’s grandfather, and that he almost lost his life, makes me think about how many lives would have also been changed by that one event. It reminds me of the movies The Butterfly Effect, starring Ashton Kutcher, and Sliding Doors, starring Gwyneth Paltrow. The first is a bit more sinister than the other, but both provoke thoughts of our own lives and what may or may not have been.

I think of this in relation to my own life. I always wonder what life would have been like if my Mum hadn’t passed away when she did. My path changed entirely after her death. I didn’t pursue the career that I was originally interested in and ended up working in places I never thought I would! All of this, in turn, has brought people into my life that I may not have otherwise connected with. Some of those people led me to new opportunities, and some have influenced my decisions.

Those who were my family in the beginning of my life ended up being completely different. My Dad remarried after my Mum passed away, and we inherited a whole new family.  Our kids, who have grown up together as cousins, may not have been if my Dad and Step-Mum didn’t meet through their blind date all those years ago!

Would I have even ever been through my breast cancer journey if life had been different?

We will never know. And I am at peace with that.

I wonder from the perspective of curiosity, not regret or resentment. It is what it is, and all I can do is move forward.

All any of us can do is deal with the right here, right now. If we stay stuck in the past, always wondering what may have been, we sabotage the future. We never give ourselves the chance to fully embrace all that has made us who we are today. The more we let go of what has been, the more we embrace who we want to become in the future.

My illness has taught me so much about letting go of the past. I had a sore neck from constantly looking at what was behind me! Now, I am grateful for all I have experienced. Every experience and event has given me the opportunity to choose a greater level of awareness in life.

It is so much more fun to think of who I am becoming and what I have to look forward to.

It is so much more exciting to think of the possibilities for the future.

Hurts from the past can be difficult to move on from. It can feel uncomfortable to face them and work through them. But wouldn’t it be worth it if I told you that your life will be completely different if you do?

With love, Ali



Meditation, is it time to try it?


Photo: Google Images

Attention busy women of the world, who spend their time overthinking!


If you are not already familiar with the practice of meditation, you have probably heard a bit about it and have seen stories and articles about it popping up everywhere. Well keep reading, you need to hear this

If you haven’t jumped on board the meditation train as yet, you need to.

Everyone needs to. You just do!

The women in my life who know me well or are part of my uplifting group The Self Love Project on Facebook, know that I talk a lot about meditation and the benefits to our health and happiness.

I have experienced some life changing transformations since committing to the practice of meditation during my Breast Cancer journey. It has been about two years now, and I can’t go a day without listening to a guided meditation at least twice.

I have experienced first hand how powerful it is, and love it so much that I ran a dedicated group on Facebook, just for women, for 30 days during January. It was a great success, and many of those beautiful participants have felt great shifts in their level of calmness, have noticed a reduction in their stress levels, increased feelings of joy, and improved sleeping patterns.

So I am doing it all again.

We all have those days when there is just too much going on in our minds.

It seems that at times we just can’t slow down those wheels of “overthink”.

As women, for those of us with families, it is usually a constant scheduling nightmare that gets overwhelming. We have to be here, be there, pick up little Johnny at that time, deliver little Sally at that time, feed everyone…etc. Oh and then there’s work or running your business (or both in my case). I could continue on, but I’m sure you get the drift!

What if I told you that meditation can help you cope with all of that? Would you give it a go?

The benefits to your health are immeasurable.

It helps lower blood pressure, heal the gut, reduce the severity of anxiety and depression, improves sleep habits and so much more. And above all, it helps you find your happy.

Have a look around Google and you will find a lot of information.

Due to the success of the first round of The Meditation Project the next round is starting next Monday 19th February. (It won’t matter if you are a little late in starting.)

30 days of guided meditation to help you transform your life…


img_6487Joining the program is a great introduction to guided meditation and will help you create a new habit, or get back into it if you have fallen off the wagon!

If you want change in your life, this is one of the simplest ways to make that happen.

Prioritise yourself, and jump on board!

In 30 days time, you could be sleeping better, feel happier, and be more calm and relaxed.

Who doesn’t want that?

Just 30AUD for 30 days. Click on the link below to confirm your participation, and request to join the group where the daily posts will be uploaded. All the information you need is in the pinned post within the group.

Confirm your spot here
Request to join the group here: The Meditation Project (After the Paypal notification has come through, your request to join the group will be approved.)

If you would like more information Email me. I’ll be happy to answer your questions.

I can’t wait to get started again, and see how much change will unfold for everyone. I look forward to seeing you in the group!



With love, Ali




A call for help…

Magic happens

I have to be completely honest. This is a call for help, for me personally.

This could possibly be the most vulnerable I have ever been in my entire life.  And it feels very uncomfortable.

Let me explain what I mean…

When I started writing my blog, I called it by the name “Raw and Completely Beautiful”, because I made the commitment to myself to always be open, honest and raw in my words.

Today is no different, so here goes…

Throughout my Breast Cancer journey, I have undertaken a lot of personal self development. I have taken a good, long and hard look at myself and what I could change to be better. To be a better person, and to do something meaningful to help others be better also.

I have come to realise in the last year, that finding my way to true happiness has inspired a passion in me to help women do the same.

Finding your joy doesn’t have to be difficult. It can be achieved through simple daily activities and devoting time to yourself.

I wrote a 30 day program called the Lotus Program, and tested it with a group of women. And the results were phenomenal.

I started a group in Facebook called The Self Love Project and there are now over 300 beautiful women in the community who uplift and support each other.

It has become my purpose each day, to make even just one woman feel more positive about herself.

I have also been focusing on my writing, and have the burning desire to write a book to help women find their happiness, without it being an overanalysed, heavy, painful process. I have found a way to guide women through grief, trauma and self sabotage to value themselves once again.

Recently, I participated in a short writing course with an international author and publisher based here in Australia. It was an incredible experience and opened my eyes to developing my skills in a way that I have not known before.

And something amazing happened.

I have been offered the incredible opportunity of a rare half scholarship to be mentored directly by the beautiful author/publisher, Joanne Fedler, in her upcoming writing program commencing later in February. I have been offered this because Joanne understands and appreciates my desire to educate women.

This program is going to help me in so many ways to give life to a book with a strong message, and make my dream a reality.

Now here is the uncomfortable, vulnerable part for me…

I need help to make this happen.

The mentorship does not come for free.

But, the scholarship offer is one that I will not have access to again, and I just feel I need to take a leap of faith to try and make this happen.

After two years of the most difficult financial time in our lives through my cancer journey, my Husband and I just do not have a way to raise the funds.

So I am now appealing to the kindness of the human spirit.

I am a big believer in authenticity, letting go of the fear of judgement from others, and allowing yourself to find strength in your vulnerability. I will admit that putting this message out there has completely tested my resolve.

I guess, if nothing else, I have pushed through a limiting belief and broken down a huge fear, all of which will help me to be a better version myself.

If you can find it in your heart to spare the time to click on the link below with all the details that explain my appeal, I would be ever grateful.

Go Fund Me

It is my hope that you are able to appreciate what I am trying to achieve. I also hope that you will, at the very least, reserve judgement and be empathetic in understanding why I have taken such a big risk in putting myself out there in this way.

In whatever capacity you may be able to help, I am truly grateful.

I may not be able to repay you, but I am completely committed to seeing this journey through. And you will be able to play a large part in enabling me to complete my mission.

Who knows, maybe this will impact the world in a positive way.

At least I will have tried.

Thank you for sharing some of your time with me. And please don’t hesitate to make contact with me if you would like further information.

With love,



Your inner power…

The ocean at my favourite place is incredibly powerful. Rain, hail or shine it has the power to give life, take life, give joy and fuel fear.

But no matter the weather, it rolls in every day. Lapping the shore, soaking the sand, leaving treasures behind and is either raging or calm.

No matter the weather, it’s power is ever present. It is never vulnerable, it is always there.

It calms and soothes even the most troubled of souls who visit.

It reminds me of my power. It represents my inner power that is always there.

No matter the circumstances, and no matter the strength of the storm, it is there.

It is always lapping the edges of my soul. I can always find it. I can always seek it.

Just like the treasures left for me on the beach that I find in my path, so is my strength.

It is always there. Some days I just need to see it. We all need to see it for ourselves.

We need to open our hearts and our minds, and see our own strength and power within.

It is always there. Rain, hail or shine, it is always there…

The true cost of Cancer…

Two years ago today, we received my diagnosis. It turned our world upside down. It was just the beginning of a huge journey.

During those two years it has been just as much ugly as it has been beautiful. Behind our smiles and strength is our truth of the real cost of Cancer.

Cancer has cost me my body as it once was. It has cost me my hair, my eyebrows and my eyelashes. It has cost us the ability to work, exercise and at times, function as parents. It has cost me full feeling in many parts of my body. It has been painful physically, mentally and emotionally.

It has almost cost us both our souls and sanity, more than once.

It has almost cost us each other.

It has tried to cost us our home, and still might.

On one dark day, it could have taken me with it…

We have felt disappointment, we have felt abandoned and we have felt lost. And we have felt fear. All consuming, terrifying fear.

But there has also been beauty.

Beauty in the love and support from those who have been there and accepted all that has been.

Beauty in the change that has evolved from within. To search ourselves so deeply and learn to love what is, has been a blessing.

The beauty with which we choose to see life, even more than before, gives us a second chance. Being forced to learn lessons so harsh have changed us forever. We will never be who we were before.

Each day we rise and smile. One foot in front of the other as we greet the day.

We have each new day to start again and find hope. Life keeps moving forward regardless.

I am here. I woke up today. I am breathing. Anything else is a bonus.

Life has never felt more beautiful…

My Daughter’s footsteps…

img_4533As I watch her walk along the sand in front of me, I wonder about my Daughter’s footsteps into her future.

She doesn’t walk in mine, and nor would I want her to. But I created her, and I must show her the way.

Because of my own footsteps, I can teach her differently. Because I strayed off the path, I can recognise the signs. Because, once, I hated myself, I can fill her up with my love. Because, once, I hated my body, I can teach her to love hers. Because I never thought I could do anything, I can encourage her to try everything. Because I needed to measure up, I can teach her to ignore judgement from others. Because I was never good enough, I can remind her to always do her best.

In a world that places so much pressure on our children, I can teach her to be grounded. I can teach her to take responsibility, and I can teach her to be self-aware.

I can teach her as best I know how, to prepare her for her adult life. I can invest in my parenting techniques to teach her how to know her boundaries. I can ignore the fourteen year old tantrums and embrace her insights into humanity. I can make light of the drama and emotion to stop the momentum. I can sacrifice being a friend right now, to become her closest in years to come.

I can watch her make mistakes, and be there to catch her in the fall. I can celebrate her joys and successes and be the loudest cheerleader from the sidelines.

I will quietly walk beside her, observing, guiding and admiring the young woman she is becoming. I recognise parts of me in her, but she is a more evolved mirror of my younger self.


Her passion, determination, strength and resilience that shines through fills me with joy. The foundations are there, it will be up to her now. I have done my best. I have to let go, just a little. But all the while, watching, waiting, guiding, and cheering from the sidelines.

At times, apparently I know nothing. At times I am on the receiving end of that acidic teenage venom. At times I am the enemy. At times, I am not the perfect parent. At times, I fail her. Sometimes, I can’t be all for her. And sometimes, my heart hurts for her but I cannot fix it.

She has been through more than a teenage girl should have. In her short life, she has embraced the many lessons that have been presented to her. Life, death, trauma and lack. Unimaginable for some. And yet, she is brave, strong and shines light wherever she goes.

As I imagine her future, I know there will be heartbreak, disappointments and setbacks. I cannot protect her from those times to come that will try to wear her down. I can only continue to observe, guide and cheer her on.

I will never judge. Who am I to do that?

She deserves the safety and security of my love and support, no matter what.

The day will come, when she may not need me so much. She might not want to ask my thoughts and opinions. And that is ok. She will be ok.


For now, I will love her fiercely with my own strength, resilience and compassion. The future will come, faster than we realise.

My Daughter’s footsteps may be the same size, but they will never make the same pattern as mine. And for that, I am grateful…


To give love, one must feel love…


We all want love in our lives. We all love to be loved. We need to feel love and we need to give love.

Love is everything.

It all starts with our self love.

If we feel love we give love. If we give love, we receive love.

Love is everything…

With love, Ali xx